


You Can't Choose in Love <3

by ishaluvsu2



Series: You Can't Choose in Love <3 [1]
Category: Supernatural, Wincest - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Awkward First Times, F/M, First Kiss, Incest, Love/Hate, M/M, My First Fanfic, Secret Admirer, Unrequited Love, Weecest, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 01:28:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/843725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishaluvsu2/pseuds/ishaluvsu2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean spent their life on the road hunting with their dad. The way they were brought up is what brought them close. So close that none can live without the other. They never knew a 'normal' life. All they know is they need each other more than anything. Their love for each other....knows no boundaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pain in the ass little brother

Dean Winchester grew up looking after his pain in the ass little brother. His dad was always too busy to take care of them. After what happened to their Mom, well, he understood what his father might be going through. Something like that changes you. He understood that. The problem was his brother didn't. But he didn't expect him to either. He always took care of Sam. He loved him. Could never see him getting hurt. Sam on the other hand loved his brother. He was his only family. His dad was always gone and he never got to know his mother as much as he would have liked to. But he knew his brother was way better than her. They were each other's world. They were the only thing that kept them going, living, breathing, surviving whatever crap "destiny" threw their way. As long as they had each other they did not need anybody else.  
It was when Dean was around 18 when he started feeling drawn toward his brother. He knew he always loved him after everything he was his kinda only life source. His all time job. More important to him than his own life. That is the reason he gave himself every time he would get the feeling. His stomach would start to drop and he would feel all fluttery inside. But that was stupid right? And don't even begin to think how utterly and completely wrong it would be!  
No, Dean Winchester knew he loved his brother but just where the line was he wasn't quite sure of that just yet.  
~  
So he desperately needed diversion and some change before he ended up doing something stupid. But that night his dad was out on a hunt as usual and Sam and Dean were in one of those cheap dingy weird smelling motels again. Dean wouldn't go with his dad on the hunt as Sam was not feeling too well and he had to take care of him and no arguments were ever made on that point. So he was fixing up his brother some tomato rice soup when Sam walks in from behind in his towel after a hot shower and frantically started putting on his clothes.  
"Dean quit doing whatever bullshit you are doing! I'm fine and I'm not a kid anymore so don't treat me like one. I took a shower as you said but that’s it. You don't get t0 boss me around anymore." Sam said in a sorta rush trying to hide his anger because he knew Dean was doing whatever he was doing because he loved Sam and could never see him in pain. But he didn't get it that Sam could take care of himself now! And that always brought Sam on an edge.  
Dean knew why Sammy would say all of that but he also knew he could squirm and scream all he wanted but that wont change whatever Dean wanted him to do or follow his orders. "Its for your own good Sam." Said Dean very calmly.  
~  
Dean laid down dinner and said, "Eat while its still hot. It will help." running his hand gently through Sam's hair once before sitting down next to him with a mug of coffee in one hand.  
"Why aren't you eating?", Sam asked through a mouthful and continued eating. Dean's stomach rumbled quietly and he said. "Because I'm full already dude! Had myself a cheeseburger while I was out getting your meds. Now shut up and eat!" Yes, it was a lie. After the medicines he had only enough left to supplies enough for one's dinner . Sam needed it more than he did anyway.  
"So I get stuck with this while you get to eat whatever you like? So not fair…" grumbled Sam.  
" Yeah yeah, get well soon then and you can have all your crap that you like so much and stop complaining till then." Dean said with a smirk on his face and Sam frowned but ate in silence. It has always been like this. Whenever they did not have enough Dean would give it away to his brother. So what if he didn't get a shot at being a child he was contended in the fact that at least his brother did.  
He sat there watching his brother eat with a smile on his face. After he was done Dean put him to bed. Sam insisted on Dean singing "hey Jude" to him as he always did when he trouble sleeping or was not feeling well. Dean would bitch about not wanting to sing and that Sam was such a baby but truth be told he loved singing to his baby brother. He always had and always will.  
~  
Dean watched while his brother slept. He looked way better than he did that morning. Dean knew he'd be fine. He had to be. It was his only job. Since the day he carried his baby brother out of the burning house, he knew he always belonged to him, he was his only job. His father didn't even have to tell him every time he left for a job he knew he had to take care of Sam. Dean didn't even realize when he was almost over Sam with his hand over Sam's forehead. It was like he suddenly snapped back into reality. What was he about to do? Did he just want to kiss him? His little brother? What? He thought he must be going crazy.  
Maybe that is what happens when you don't get laid in a long time. He was just desperate and had to go out. He once again checked his baby brother for temperature, made sure he was tucked in safe, wrote down a note saying he'd be back before he wakes up in the morning in case he got up during the night and to take care.  
Dean left to go to a bar not far away. With his fake id he got himself some beers and in no time most of the girls were eyeing him for the prize. He got that he looked pretty handsome and with the hunter training got some muscle too. In short he was a sexy son of a bitch and he didn't complain about it. He was no stupid virgin either. He knew his way around ladies and in no time was in the backroom of the bar kissing this petite teenage blonde. This was exactly the sorta distraction he needed from the urges.  
~  
Dean got her back to the Impala, the '67 black Chevy beauty that his dad gave him on his 18th birthday and he was grateful for it. They got into the backseat still kissing.  
Dean was an expert by now. With the little fight going on between their tongues he started moving his hand her side. He moves his hand under her tank top and they break off for hardly a second to get it off her. Her bra was easy to get off with all the practice Dean has had. He moved his lips down to her jaw and then her neck gently kissing and nibbling her along the way. His hands were over her breasts meading them. He was so engrossed with all of it and the girl moaning under him that he almost didn't hear it.  
When he finally heard his cellphone ringing he snapped out of a trance. The first thought that hit him was "Sam!". He hurriedly stopped and dug out his phone despite the reluctant moans from the girl under him. All his mind could process was "Sam's up? Something must be wrong! Must go back!"  
He finally got his phone and flipping it open said, "Sam? Are you okay? What's wrong?"  
Sam's voice was faint, a little groggy from sleeping but he replied' " That’s what I wanted to ask you… Why'd you leave without waking me up? And I'm fine had a nightmare again you know…nothing major."  
That was enough to get Dean's attention, "I'm not far Sammy I'll be there in 5! You drink some water and wait for me. I'm coming Sammy."  
~  
Dean didn't care that he just threw a girl out despite her protests that they atleast finish what they started. He just apologised and left. His brain couldn't process anything other than his brother needed him. He was dumb enough to leave him alone in the first place. He knew how bad these nightmares often got. "I'm so STUPID!" He screamed into the rushing air while he drove as fast as he could.  
He almost lunged himself as Sam when he went in. Checking him again for temperature, asking if he needed anything, apologising for abandoning him like that.  
"Hey! Hey! Relax Dean I didn't die-" Dean glared at him as if he had cursed him or something. He realized his mistake and changed his sentence. "I mean I'm fine Dean. I was worried about where you were and the nightmare was not that bad. Nothing your brother can't handle okay."  
Dean calmed down a little. Sure Sammy may look a little scrawny and thin to some but he knew he wasn't weak. In fact he thought his brother was stronger than Dean had been when he was 14 himself. He smiled at Sam saying, "Alright you smartass. Now get some shut eye. I won't go anywhere either so you can relax."  
"Dean can we share the same bed?" Sam asked hesitantly. Dean was not shocked by the request. They always used to share a bed when they were kids. And when Sam got a little anxious it helps calm him down. Dean didn't protest. He loved sharing a bed with his baby brother. He just got in laying one arm under Sammy's head singing "Hey Jude" till they both fall asleep in each other's arms.

***


	2. Woah, Sammy boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to take some unexpected turns when the boys are all alone....Till where will they go?

Sam Winchester woke up with a start. He was having a little nightmare again. He was used to them by now. But what actually comforted him was knowing that hid big brother, Dean was sleeping next to him and as long as he was there Sam did not have to worry about anything. Nothing can harm him when Dean was around.  
Sure they had their disagreements on various topics especially when it came to their dad but Sam loved his brother. Ever since he could understand what was going on with the family business into which he was forcefully pulled into his brother was the only thing that he had stayed for. Dean was everything for him.  
It was still early in the morning and Sam could see the peace on his brother's face while he slept. He wished his brother didn't worry about him so much but on the other hand he loved to have his brother's attention. Doesn't matter whether it is because of some stupid fight they are having or some rather serious discussion, just knowing his brother was talking to him, was around him, was thinking about his Sammy kept him at peace. It was way more intimate than a child fighting for his mother's affection, it was way deeper than that but Sam could relate to it.  
He was in love with Dean, his big brother. He loved everything about him. The way he looked, the way he would talk to girls so casually, the way he smiled and those crinkles it caused near her eyes when he was truly happy and his eyes. Those deep green eyes he could stare at for hours without blinking. Sam always wanted to be like his brother. Sure mainly so that his dad would like him more but also cause Dean would like him better that way too.  
Sam knew where his brother was last night. He knew him well enough to know he must have been in some bar with a girl and truth be told Sammy didn't like it. He was possessive about his brother. So yeah he was kinda jealous and that's the main reason why he called him last night in the first place. He didn't lie about anything but he also couldn't bear to think that his brother would just leave him alone like that. He wanted to see if he would come back for him, to see how much he cared about Sam because Sam cared a lot. He didn't know what to make of it yet but he was pretty sure that he loved Dean and nothing in the world could change that.  
~  
Dean's phone suddenly rang and Dean started to stir and wake up. Sam immediately shut his eyes not wanting to be caught by his brother staring at him like that while he slept. He may be young but he was old enough to know that could be pretty creepy. Dean reached for his phone on the bedside and flipped it open.  
"Hello?.....Oh hey dad…no, we're fine…Sammy is better, still asleep though,……ohkay great…no it's fine dad really…..yeah you too, take care Dad. Bye."  
Dean put the phone down removing his other arm gently which was tucked under Sam's head all night and now seemed to be pretty sore. Sam jerked and woke up moving his head away so Dean could get up.  
"Rise and shine Sammy. So how're you feeling today? Dude, now my hands all sore thanks to you..Urgh", Dean cringed a little and went to the bathroom.  
"I'm fine Dean. You don't need to keep checks on me all the time. So what did dad say? When will he be back?" Sam asked getting up and heading towards the bathroom himself.  
"He'll take a day or two more. But the good news is this new credit card will be delivered here soon so we need not worry about the money. You can finally have that Cheeseburger today if you want." Dean muttered with his mouth full of toothpaste. He stood there near the bathroom sink without his shirt.  
"Nah it's okay. I prefer when you cook anyways." Sam replied in a small voice not looking up. He just left and went to the kitchen instead. Something was definitely wrong with Sam. Why was he blushing all of a sudden when he was near Dean, especially shirtless. He felt like when he was going through the skin mags he had found in his Dad's stuff along with some porn tapes which he hadn't had the courage to watch yet. Just was going hot all over. Sam was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to happen when your brother was around but he couldn't help it and he decided he would have to do something about it.  
"Go wash up Sammy. I'll fix us some breakfast.", said Dean coming out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist and Sam almost made a run for the bathroom himself before his brother could sense something was wrong.  
~  
Sam decided to take a long hot shower. While in there he couldn't resist touching his already semi-hard dick. Within seconds in was full erect and Sam started moaning as he massaged it gently under the warm flowing water. All he could think of was Dean in that towel. Just a towel. Soon his moans changed to grunts which he was trying to suppress so that his brother won't find out what he was upto. It didn't take long for him to cum all over himself. His limbs all went weak and he could barely support himself with one hand on the wall. He finally washed himself clean and got dressed before stepping out of the bathroom.  
Dean had already prepared breakfast and they both sat down to eat. Later that day, a man came to deliver their new credit card for which the papers had previously been made and submitted by John. So Dean decided to go on a supply run as he had hardly managed to get anything the day before and they definitely needed more food to survive. After all they were both growing young men with a big diet. He was asked Sammy if he needed anything, made sure he was still having his medicines and was feeling fine before he left.  
Dean returned around seven in the evening and Sam was almost starting to worry. Turned out it took time for Dean to sneak some beers for Sammy and himself. They each divided the cans among themselves and settled down on the couch with some munchies to go along. This was perfect, Sam thought, just his brother and him together. Pretty soon they were quite drunk and were running out of things to talk about.  
"Hey umm Dean, could we, umm could we watch something?", asked Sam shyly. "Yeah sure. Whatever you like Sammy. Here." replied Dean tossing over the remote control to Sam's side of the couch and taking a big gulp from his beer can.  
"That's not what I meant. Hold on." Sam went to his dad's duffel and pulled out a tape. "Could we umm watch this instead? I uhh can't watch it alone." Sam knew it was a stupid, stupid thing to ask. Dean was just gonna make a face and say something like "Are you crazy? Watch it yourself!" or anything what he did not expect was for him to say this.  
~  
"Woah Sammy boy, how long have you known about those? Sure put it in, anyways, I've seen them all already." Said Dean grinning and definitely looking too drunk. Sam didn't mind. He thought Dean looked more hot when he was drunk. Not completely passed out or puking drunk coz ofcourse he had seen him like that as well.  
Sam put the tape in and settled down next to Dean. Nervous as hell, he sat there without a word trying to figure out what was going n in the video. 10 minutes in watching the guy and the girl move their mouths over each other Sam was turned on but he couldn't do much about it, not with his brother sitting next to him.  
Dean turns over to Sam saying, "Aww my baby brother is so turned on huh? Hahaha. I guess you should have watched it without me then, I've watched them already." Sam didn't look away from the screen, he didn't even speak a word. Mostly because he was embarrassed but Dean sitting next to him talking to him turned him on even more. He could feel the colour rising in his cheeks.  
"You know I would just pop out my dick and start stroking it when I would watch them alone. Feels so good doesn't it. I'm pretty sure you've jerked off too huh Sammy?", said Dean teasingly. Somehow he enjoyed teasing his brother a lot and this was no different than all the other times and Sam knew that.  
Not getting any response from Sammy, Dean continues saying, "So have you even kissed a girl yet Sammy? I'm know you're still a virgin from your expressions which are down right funny by the way but have you even touched a girl? Do know how to kiss one? I guess you would suck at it eh?" Dean said smirking and quite drunk by now. Sam lost count of how many beers had his brother had but he was certain that the next morning will not be pretty for his big brother.  
Sam wished Dean would stop teasing him about this. Ofcourse he had kissed a few girls and liked it but right now he could not think about them or talk about that. All his brain would work out was his brother was sitting next to him. So close that Dean should be able to feel the heat radiating from Sam's body by now. Sam was worried he would do something that he is gonna regret later or worse Dean would hate him for it.  
~

"Come on! Tell me. Tried your soft lips on the girls yet. Or do you need help with that too? Like with everything else. Wanna do some research about that too?" Dean chuckled and that was Sam's limit of self control that he just hit.   
Letting go of the cushion Sammy was clutching so tight over his now fully hard penis, he moved swiftly, his face getting dangerously close to Dean's. He was not sure why or how that happened but he didn't want to move away. His breathing had gotten short and heavy and he could smell the beer of his brother's lips and he couldn't wait to taste those pink, soft, warm lips that used to kiss his forehead goodnight, every night when they were younger.   
Not able to comprehend what was going on here Dean just muttered, a little too drunk, "What's wrong Sammy?"  
Suddenly loosing all the control he had he closed the distance between Dean's lips and Sammy kissed him full on the mouth. Any second he knew that Dean would shove him away and kick his ass for doing this. Dean would be so mad for this. But that shove never came.  
Sam drew his head back even more confused. Dean was in a state of shock. Completely still, without moving a muscle and just staring unblinkingly at Sam. Daring to go again Sam started kissing his brother again, licking and trying to get Dean out of the shock. To make him react somehow.   
Dean's suddenly started kissing Sam back. Or was Sam just imagining that? Why would his brother LET him do that and then kiss back too? Right now he didn't care for the answers much. He just couldn't get enough of the taste that was his brother's mouth. A little tongue war had started as they both got more and more engrossed. Roaming all over each other's mouth, just so hot.   
Sam's both hands were in Dean's hair just pulling himself towards him as if his life depended on it. He was starting to breathe even more heavily with no intentions of letting go of his brother's sweet lips anytime soon. He was so happy and he could feel his dick trying to burst out of his jeans.  
But something clicked and Dean suddenly withdrew breaking the kiss.  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if you like them...And any suggestions that you would like me to add. If enough people like it I got some more ideas for more chapters and get to work immediately! :)


	3. The Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blame it all the alcohol but is it really the one at fault?  
> The boys end up confused and awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. I'm not getting enough time to write as much I would like to. Forgive me. :(  
> And I will complete the story so don't worry. I will keep posting as long as you guys like it! :)

It all seemed like one of Sam's worst nightmares. He was completely at loss for words. Hell his brain was so fuzzed up that he couldn't even think. All he knew was he had just crossed a line that he wasn't supposed, that he shouldn't have! Not now, not ever. You don't just go kissing around your brother!! That's wrong very very very wrong but somehow why didn't he feel disgusted by it? All he could feel was sadness at the thought of it having a bit too soon that he intended for it to.  
Dean was stared blankly at Sam for two seconds before the reality of it all hit him hard in the head and heart. He whizzed around literally jumping off the couch and raced towards the bathroom door as if he was on fire, which he sort of was it was just not the kind that was visible to others, before locking himself in the bathroom.  
His heart was beating faster now. He could hardly breather and tears came running down his eyes without him even realising it. What did I just do? I just kissed my baby brother! That is not what you are supposed to do when you're father is not at home! You were supposed to take care of him you stupid ass not kiss him! And Hell you should be disgusted to your gut and not enjoying it.  
Dean slid down his back against the door and his head resting on his hands trying to shake of his feelings and cursing himself all along. This was wrong and low even for his standards. This was never ever to be repeated again. EVER! Sam is stupid and still a kid. He knows nothing but I should know better. This was never happening again!  
~  
Sam was still frozen at where he sat on the couch. All he was thinking now was he had hurt his brother by doing what he did. He can never apologize enough or undo what had been done already. He may have even lost his brother forever now. What was he gonna do now?  
When finally he was able to gain his motor control, he got the couch and walked shakily towards the bathroom door not sure what he was going to do next. Silently, he stood outside the bathroom door listening to the tap water running in there and some splashes of water. All this while thinking that Dean must be so disgusted by him, he may never wanna see my face again, he is going to tell Dad! And then they will abandon me. Soon his eyes were watering and a tear ran down his left cheek.  
"Dean..", Sam could hardly hear his voice himself. With a lump in his throat he tried again, "Dean, I..I'm..I'm sorry. I didn't mean to….I never meant to…" but before he could complete his sentence Dean was out wiping his face on a towel.  
"Didn't mean to what Sammy? Well I'm drunk and so damn sleepy so you mind clearing all that shit up?" Dean walked towards his bed not really looking directly at Sam. "I ain't in the mood and Hell you owe me one after all that trouble you gave me because of being sick. We could have been with dad hunting those evil sons of bitches instead of sleeping and eating like some retired old drunks!" he yawned removing some wrappers off his bed from one hand and throwing the towel on the chair with other before hoping into bed. "And fucking turn off the damn lights!"  
Sam didn't move. Realization dawned to him slowly as he understood what Dean was doing. It's what he always did when he did not want to talk about his feelings or anything personal that had happened, something that may hurt to think or talk about. He was gonna pretend that nothing happened.  
~  
It was among those habits of Dean that Sam hated very much. He would simply ignore the elephant in the room so that he wouldn't have to talk about his feelings. Sam always thought it was because that would make Dean seam weak but Dean could never afford to be weak. He had to strong for his family, he had to be strong for Sam so that Sam was comfortable in telling him stuff. He would simply ignore his own pain till he couldn't feel it anymore. Sam knew all of it and Sam, like with most of Dean's habits, learnt to deal with it. But he had lived with his brother all his life, observing him, trying to be like him, and he could very much tell when Dean was hurting. This time as well he could see it in Dean's face but he knew he could never make him talk about it, especially if talking about it makes it worse. For once he was not gonna be a bitch, as his brother calls him, and not talk about it. Sure it was hurting him emotionally not being able to tell Dean how he felt but it would never hurt him more than when he sees Dean hurting. That is the worst kind of pain for Sam. He was never gonna bring up what happened tonight ever again.  
Dean heard Sam go inside the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He was wide awake but he did not have the courage to face his brother that night. It was his doing, all his fault that they had ended up kissing that night. God! It even felt all weird thinking about it how the hell was he supposed to say it out loud? He was his brother! His BABY BROTHER! What if dad found out? No! No way was he ever even gonna talk about this night forget repeating it. And all these thoughts of self disgust kept running through his head till his head hurt and the beer made him drift into a deep sleep.  
~  
Dean woke up suddenly all sweaty and breathing fast. It was still in the early hours of the day. It was some horrible nightmare that Dean had just had that woke him up. Still flustered he quickly turned to see where his brother was fast asleep on his bed. That is when he finally took a sigh of relief. He didn't move just quietly watched his baby brother sleeping peacefully. Something about watching over his baby brother and knowing that he was safe calmed Dean down. It was his job after all right.  
He resisted any and all temptations to go over and touch Sammy, even if it was to just ensure he was fine. After the incident, or rather the accident, that happened last night Dean was afraid. He was afraid of what it might have led to. Not that he was not craving for all of it but it's not something he should ever have and least of all do something about it. He would never do anything that would certainly cause him to loose and alienate his brother forever! He could bare not getting him in the way he wanted but not loosing him completely. Not ever. He was gonna make sure of that. And so he needed to be careful from now on. He could not let himself slip up.  
That's when a small nagging voice in his head that he had been desperately tried to shut up since last night said, But he kissed me first! Yeah well that is because he is a kid! He knows fucking shit about anything at all. I provoked him, he was trying to prove a point he was nothing but defensive. I should have kept my big fat mouth shut that's all that matters. And as long as they ignore "the accident" there won't be any awkwardness either. He, on the other hand, had to change the ways they are used to living around each other. After all he doesn't wanna hurt his brother, does he? So no more sharing a bed, or long hugs, or rather any intimate contact or too much show of skin. And lots of sex with girls to keep his head straight! Yeah that should about take care of everything. Afterall what's a little sacrifice for family, for his baby brother, for his love.  
~  
Dean lost track of time, whether hours of minutes had passed while he just lay watching over his brother, he wasn't sure. The sun was fully up, Sam had started to stir and wake up from his sleep and as Dean couldn't go back to sleep he decided he better get up and about with the usual morning routine.  
Thankfully Sam didn't bother him much. Dean guessed that maybe, hopefully, Sammy was too drunk to remember "the accident" last night. That would be really helpful.  
Sam could feel Dean was being a little distant but not more than his usual self. Maybe Dean didn't remember what happened last night. Cause if that was true Sam could look past it, never think about it himself and they could just go back to their, well not so normal, life. Sam just needed to keep his silly hormonal urges under control till they come to pass and that should just about set everything right.  
Then a knock on the door and both the boys having breakfast on couch stiffened. Dean moved his hand over the gun he kept tucked on the waist before moving towards opening the door. He peeked through the keyhole before opening it wide with a smile.  
"Hey boys.", said John with a smile.  
" Hey dad!" piped in Sam happy to see his dad in one piece. The risks of the job, well life actually, were many. Mostly ending in blood and death. So it was always a relief to see that his dad and made it yet once again killing an evil son of a bitch. But Sam was scared. He was scared at how it will end up with all his family being hurt, over and over and over and yet over gain, before they all die. Was this the way to go? Sure he wants to save the people but why kill his own loved ones in the process. Times like these he wished he had a normal, boring life! Where you weren't in danger of being ripped to shreds every bloody time anyone took a step outside the door! He would give anything to have a normal life to help save whatever little is left of his family, his world, his Dean.  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like the story? Then please leave kudos! It means a lot. And comment if you want to give any and all sorts of inputs or suggestions they are all welcome! No hate please. Don't like it? Then please don't read it!   
> Love you guys and thanks for reading it. :)


	4. Life as They Knew It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more of insight about what goes on in Sam and Dean's heads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to write this to build up to what is coming in the next few chapters. Don't worry it's gonna get a lot better in the next chapter ;)

So what do you do when you end up in an awkward position with someone whom you have to spend everyday of your life with? This is what troubled Sam the most. There was no way Dean, dad and he were going separate ways with the kind of living they had. Sure sometimes Sam had those urges to run away (he even tried it a few times, didn't turn out well) but it was from this life that his dad had forced upon themselves and its risks but he could never bring himself to actually 'leave' because he knew Dean would never leave with him and he could never leave Dean. Above everything Dean was most precious to him, more than his own life.   
So that's how they lived, on the road, moving from one state to the other, from one awful smelling dingy motel to the other to saving people, hunting things, the family business.   
They would share one room but now Dean would either sleep on the couch, if there was any, or the floor. No more sharing the bed with his brother. Their dad didn't care. Maybe he thought that because of Sam just growing like a weed it was hard for the two of them to be able to sleep comfortably in one bed. But both Sam and Dean knew the actual reason behind it. It was to avoid what had happened. They both were afraid of losing the other over something like that. It was not worth it.  
~  
Sometimes after a hunt when they would end up being injured, hurt, needing stitches Dean would prefer to either let it be or stitch himself up. Although Sam was getting great at it he just couldn't let Sam touch him. He thought that their bare skin contact might trigger something off. That what if Dean lost control and did something stupid again. Nope can't let that happen. John was always too drunk after a hunt to notice anything. His years of being a hunter had left him too hard hearted to pick up on things like that.   
Dean would himself just go out to a bar, get drunk and bang random chicks he didn't care for just to keep him calm and in control when he was around Sam. Everyone was dealing the way they knew best.  
It was Sam whom everyone sort of ignored and couldn't see what he might be going through. He couldn't go out and get drunk because then who would take care of John passed out on the couch? He didn't want to bang random girls or have one night stands because he needed to be in love with person to do that! It wouldn't feel right otherwise. The worst of all was he missed his brother….  
Sam missed his elder brother, their physical touch that would keep him calm at night, his care when Sam was in the slightest of trouble. He did not like that because of him Dean was now this jerk who didn't care much for anything. Sam blamed on all himself. They hadn't had a proper eye contact since they ended up kissing on that couch! It was frustrating him to beyond a limit.  
~  
So among all of that in his life the only thing he found worthwhile was studying. Dean called him a geek for that. Dad usually got angry when Sam would rather study than train like his brother. But atleast he was good at it. His teachers, his peers all appreciated him for it. There was something he didn't suck at and was not given a hard time for. He desperately wanted out of the hunting business but not alone. He wished Dean would see it too. He wished for Dean and himself to get out of this life while they still could but their dad won't let them. And Dean was too busy being a good son to see that he was turning in to dad himself. The soft hearted, caring elder brother that Sam had was getting lost in all the hunting and training. Sam wanted Dean to have a chance at normal life.

Dean was frustrated. Sam and Dad were again having one of those fights. Sam wanted to study and dad wanted him to train and practice shooting instead. Dean usually stayed out of this. But today it was going too far. He decided to step in.  
" Dad, its okay. Let him study. His finals are coming up. We could practice and he'll join when he can right Sammy?" Dean tried to cut in and cool down things a little before either of them did something stupid.  
"See your brother knows we need to train! So why don't you understand? You need to be more like your brother Sam!" said John in a low harsh growl before leaving the room with Dean in tow.  
~  
Dean was torn when his dad and Sam fought. He could never disagree with dad, He was sorta trained into being this good soldier and always do what he was told to because a couple of times that he hadn't had not gone well for them Especially for Sam. Dean still get nightmares from the time he almost lost his brother to the Shtriga. Just thinking about it sent shivers down his spine. He almost screwed up the only job he had by not following the rules his dad set him. That was the last day that it ever happened.   
Dean had the sexy-cool-never-give-a-shit attitude for the world but on the inside he could never stop worrying about his family. The only ones he had left- Sam and Dad. He would die in a second for them than to see any of them get harmed. He also couldn't bear the fact that Dad and Sam didn't get along. He hated the times when they would fight mostly because of dad forcing Sammy to fight to be better able to protect himself and his family and Sammy always had points to protest to that. All the times they would fight it was Dean who got hurt the most.   
He agreed with dad, didn't matter if he was thinking about it logically or not, he just always had to agree with dad. But he knew his brother too and he knew how badly Sammy wanted a chance at normal life. He'd run away enough times to prove that. Dean knowing the kinda mess his family was in, always has been in, wouldn't let Sammy have what he wants. All Dean wants is for them to be happy and a family and together. After all they go through, is it really too much to ask?  
~  
So that is how they spend their lives. Hunt evil, not get hunted instead, add some fights between Sammy and Dad and a little a growing friction between the two brothers. That was what they called their regular life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment and leave kudos if you like the story. I'm a little slow in putting up the chapters I know and I'm sorry please try and bear with me!


	5. At the Safe-House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's pissed. And it's not really Sam's fault. He just wishes for Dean to understand him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. Trying my best to make the story work and look meaningful plus with all the college stuff its gets a little difficult. Will try and post the next one sooner.

So it was the summer of 2001. Dean re-entered the Cabin with his dad after spending all his morning practicing shooting at tin cans. His aims were perfect but John insisted they always stay in practice whether they are working a job or not. Better be ready than rusty. The Cabin was one of Caleb's, John's hunting friend, safe-house.   
Dad's phone rang and he stopped just outside the door to answer while Dean strode right into the kitchen to get a cold beer to beat the heat. He saw Sam sitting at the table shuffling through some papers. That struck Dean as strange. Sam was done with school with straight As in all subjects and they weren't really working a case so what was up with all the papers?  
As soon as Sam realised that Dean was there he made a grasp for all the papers at once trying to shove them into a big envelope as quickly as he could manage. In the attempt of trying to hide them, one slipped right through and landed right next to where Dean stood. Sam dived to retrieve it but Dean being closer and quicker beat him to it.  
"So what is it that you're trying to hide here, Sammy?" Dean asked teasingly before turning over to see what was written on the paper. What he saw made his stomach lurch and he could feel his brain actually going dead as the realization hit him hard on his face.  
"Stanford? So you applying for college then?" That was all Dean could say. Not looking up he thrust the paper back into Sam's hand more forcefully than he intended and decided on getting his beer instead.  
~  
Dean gulped down more than half the beer from his can in just one go. He could still hear and sense Sam pushing the envelope with the application forms away. Yeah, too late Sammy.  
"Dean I need to talk to you…and dad." said Sam in a sheepish voice. " I..uh I didn't want …I uh.."  
"You what Sammy? You didn't want to let us know? Didn't want us to find out did you?" Dean snapped back at him still not turning around to look at Sam. He felt betrayed, hurt to say the least. "Planning a permanent runaway from your miserable little life? You really hate us that much? You… you really hate me that much?"  
" WHAT? No! No Dean. I don't hate you. Never. Please just listen to me once that is all I'm asking." Sam waited for a reply but when none came he continued, "Yes, I want out of this life not because I hate you or dad. It's because… cause I hate the fact that we're always in danger. Dad forced us into this life. I didn't…We didn't choose it did we? I'd rather have us safe, together, than stuck in a life like this! And I don't hate you Dean. Please, you are the only reason.. The reason I…uh I stay!" Sam closed his eyes, a tear falling down. He didn't want to cry. He didn't wanna seem weak. He couldn't help it at the moment that's all. Dean was still silent. Aware of everything but still trying to process everything in his head.   
"Dean please! Please, say something?" Dean could feel the anxiety in Sam's voice.   
"You can do whatever you feel like. You ain't a kid anymore" Dean was glad he was still facing away from Sam because his eyes were watering and he couldn't hold back himself as a single tear trickled down his right cheek.   
You can't keep him forever. You knew this day was coming. Man up!   
~  
They could hear John's footsteps outside the door coming up the front porch steps.  
"Can we talk later. Please don't tell dad!" was all Sam could say before John entered the room looking all grim, disturbed and lost.  
Dean turned out wiping his face on his sleeve as if wiping away all the sweat. He wasn't stupid enough to let Dad or Sam know that he had a moment of weakness.   
"Dad? What's wrong? Who was it on the call?" Dean asked seeing the weird lost expressions on John's face. Something was definitely up. His dad was not among the people who would go in a state of shocked silence that easy.  
It was as if John suddenly realized he was back in the cabin, "Oh hey Dean, umm nothing it was just Pastor Jim." John tried to force a smile which Dean could instantly recognize as fake. "I have to go meet him regarding a case. Might be away for a week or maybe two max." John said turning away and going to the room.  
Sam and Dean exchanged curious looks before following John in the room. John had already started cramming his stuff in his duffel bag.  
"What about the case we were looking at this morning? And what case are you talking about with Pastor Jim?" Sam asked. Trying to get at least one straight answer out of John which he knew he never gets. Still he deserves to know. He feels like his dad is treating him like a kid when this happens! Frustrated him to the core! "DAD?? Say something!" Sam tried again in vain.  
~  
John answered as if in a trance, "It's just a simple case of possession Sammy, nothing I can't handle." John had already finished packing. Being in the profession such as this one they never had much stuff to call their own. Just a duffel bag for everything he enough.  
"What do you want us to do, sir?" was all Dean said. Was all Dean ever said. He blindly trusted the man, would do anything John said without asking why always. The only thing that Sam hated more than anything. The only thing that made him feel was the reason he and Dean were not close as they used to be or dunno maybe still were. If only he would stop trying to be John's perfect little soldier and try to live his own everything would be fine. This is exactly what Sam believed.  
Sam just gave a long sigh and was about to leave the room. He knew what was gonna follow. Dad's same instructions "take care of Sammy, If I call I'll ring once and then ring again, don't wander off, blah blah." The military talk. And ofcourse Dean's usual responses " Yes sir. I know, sir. Got it, sir."  
But that's not what happened this time. "Go on and take the case we were researching on earlier. It's a simple salt and burn you guys can handle it." That made Sam stop in his tracks.  
"Wait you want us to hunt on our own?" Sam said turning on his heels near the door frame.  
"Geez Sammy, for a smart kid you really are slow at times." came John's response. "Take care of your brother Dean. We'll meet up back here in 2 weeks. Keep me updated" with those last words John was out of the room and out of the cabin in a blink of an eye. Loading his stuff in his trunk, he was off.   
Both Dean and Sam just stared as John drove off leaving them to go on their first hunt together without John.  
~  
Dean went back in and Sam just followed him. He was unsure what was gonna happen next. Will Dean talk about the applications or just drop it. Are they really gonna go on their first solo hunt without John breathing down their necks. But Dean said nothing. He just sat on the couch picking up another beer can flipping through the channels on t.v. they had fixed.  
So it was the silent treatment again. It pissed Sam right off and Dean knew it.   
"So what are we supposed to do now? Research? Leave for the hunt? What?" trying to force out a reaction out of Dean. Dean just shrugged his shoulders as if to say whatever you want.  
"Dean! Dad left you in-charge, will you please say something?" Sam could feel his anger seeping into his voice.  
Dean looked over the couch right at Sam only to say, "You're old enough to take decisions to leave your family for college and shit so why do you need me to tell you anything huh?" Sam knew one of those snide comments was coming soon and he knew his brother was not gonna drop that attitude anytime soon so he might as well stop trying to get under Dean's skin.   
"We'll leave tomorrow as early as possible. We already know about the case. Just a vengeful spirit. Salt and burn the son of a bitch." Dean said all of that still looking at the t.v. screen but he knew Sam was listening.  
Sam groaned thinking how the hunt was gonna go if Dean was just going to act like this all the time. He still had a few remaining applications to post and he could continue the research at some cyber café or library whichever he could find first. Right now it was best if he and his brother both had some alone time to think over stuff. Sam left with his bag over his shoulder just mumbling "I'll be back by 8." and receiving a shrug in return.  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The case John goes to is something relating to Sam and Mary's death. The reason he wishes for Dean and Sam to be far away from it. To keep them safe. I might not be touching on the topic so I thought I should mention it here. The story is gonna deal with just Sam and Dean and their relationship. :)  
> like it? PLEASE LEAVE KUDOS! Comments are welcome :)


	6. Talk to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its hard for Dean to talk about his feelings but Sammy gets under his skin. Atleast he tries to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm posting the chapter very very very late but college life isn't easy. Was stuck up with work. I'm sorry :(

They needed to be up and out at the crack of dawn if they intended to make it to Mission, Kansas by midnight. A full day of driving next to each other in the impala. Sam wasn't sure whether he was excited or worried, but he certainly had those fluttery feelings in his stomach. Dad won't be there, just Dean and him! It could go great or horribly bad and Sam's money was on the latter. Dean still seemed pissed at Sam it seems because of the college thing plus getting up early was not Dean's thing, add that to no coffee or whiskey in his system yet, he sure as hell was gonna be cranky.

    But Sam knew his brother too well to know how to handle him. Keep quiet, no retorts and wait till he gets some strong black coffee. Dean would be fine. Sam hoped. Why did he always end up doing stuff that hurt Dean. That were never his intentions… Whether it was their kissing accident or this college incident or even the stubborn fights with dad, Sam felt worse when Dean got upset. It shattered Sam to see Dean hurt, angry or disappointed in him. He didn't care much for dad, the person who for the most part of his life was always missing. It was Dean who was, or still is, always there for him, despite their differences, Dean was the only person Sam loved and trusted. If anyone was to ever ask him, Sam would say for him home was where Dean is!

    After their quiet stop at the diner so some bacon, eggs and lots of coffee, Sam finally figured he should say something. The only trouble being he had no clue where to start from. Still estimating the mood Sam started with, "So uh…" and was immediately cut off when his brother turned up the volume to the player and Zeppelin blasted from the speakers. Great. So that was clear as the road ahead that Dean did not wanna talk yet and Sam wasn't gonna push him coz it would only get worse. 

~

    After few hours of continued blasting music that Dean knew he'd listened to over a trillion times now but was still relentless. It was all he could do right now to avoid any awkward talks in the care. But he knew how irritated Sam gets with the loud music and couls already see the troubling expressions on his face. And who was Dean kidding? He couldn't hide behind the noise forever could he? I mean they were gonna be together forev…. No strike that. His baby brother wanted to cut loose with him and this life. So why waste whatever time is left. Yeah its better if they talked while they still could right. Pus he knew it was his fault, had to be, he was to be blamed always, that Sam had decided on running. If only Dean would have been a better brother to him.

    Still going over all of it in his head, Dean lowered the volume down because he could no longer take the pained expression on Sam's face.

He continued with saying, "What?"

 

"What?", replied Sam looking a little confused and shocked.

"You had something to say didn't you?", replied Dean staring at the road ahead.

"Umm, yeah! So… we're cool or what?"Sam asked twiddling with his thumbs. And really is this all he had to say to Dean? That were they cool?

Snorting Dean replied, "Yeah real cool, Sammy. Go leave me, Dad, this life. I'm fucking overjoyed. Can't you see me beaming! Its awesome. Wanna…"

"Okay fine I get it.", Sam said cutting Dean, "Look I did not want that to come out this way, okay? It was just something I want and you knew about that Dean. You know I don't like this hunting business, putting our lives on the line everyday. And I don't want to leave you! You're the only reason I stayed all this time man. Please Dean, Please, believe me. I'm not leaving you". Dean could see Sam's eyes begin to water and it had an automatic reaction on him. He couldn't see his brother hurting. It hurt him more. The Impala slowed down a little till the were parked on the side of the road. And he almost didn't hear Sam say. "I love you too much to leave you."

~

    Dean was strong on the outside. But he hated chick flick moments coz they always got to him. And they made him weak, made him vulnerable and made it difficult to put up the cold hearted " I don't give a shit!" attitude. They made him put his guard down. This was exactly that was happening right now. He could take a blow in the jewels rather than see his Sammy cry the way he was right then!.

    "Hey, hey, hey, Sammy, please! I'm nnot mad okay hey look here!" Dean was turned towards Sam now, his voice all soft now trying to swallow the lump in his throat. When Sam did look up tears running down his face Dean could hardly keep it in.

    "It's okay. I get it. I know you want a normal life.

Hell, I want you to have one too okay, I just..felt…a little bad you didn't tell me sooner is all." dean left out broken, lost, terrified and shattered along with a side of guilty with "bad" but continued anyway, " And hey we got stuff to focus on right now, Sammy. So will you hold up the sissy crying till atleast after? I mean, geez, you can be such a girl." he said with a smirk.

    That was Dean trying to bring down the tension in the car, and it was his way of cheering Sam up. Make funny remarks till he forgets what he was sad about and changes his focus on their silly fights instead. If it made Sammy happy, Dean wouldn't mind doing it all day long.

    And it worked, ofcourse it had to. There was a hint of a smile lurking on the corner of Sam's lips. That smile, those lips, those eyes getting their shine back, Dean could watch him forever without batting an eyelid. And wait….what? This is not where your mind is supposed to go when you're thinking in terms of your kid brother! Dean mentally scolded himself.

    Shaking out of it he heard Sammy saying, "You know you're a jerk right?" giving him a smile in the end.

    That literally made Dean's day.

    " Whatever bitch!", was Dean's standard reply to that insult.

    Getting the car back on road they headed towards their destination to finish the job at hand.

***    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos it means a lot. Any and all inputs are welcome :)


	7. Salt-N-Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a simple hunt?  
> Guess again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay for anyone who is reading my fanfic I'm really really sorry guys but I couldn't publish it sooner! I swear to God I'm already wornking on the next chapter and I will upload with a week! I promise.

****

    It was past midnight by the time Sam and Dean reached Mission, Kansas and finally found a shitty motel to crash in. Dean went to get them checked in at the counter while he left Sam to drag the luggage in. He was his younger brother and he was allowed to pick on him! Plus Dean was driving all damn day while all Sam got to do was snore all the way! Not that he hadn't offered to drive but Dean was too damn possessive….of not only his baby but Sam too. He won't risk his brother's life. It was much safer if Dean was in control. Better safe than sorry.

    Dean got his kicks out of ringing the bell at the reception desk till the manager, a grumpy old drunk, came out cursing at them. He looked them over, now that Sam had joined them standing behind Dean with the duffel bags in hand, and mumbled something that sounded quite close to "pretty gay". Dean's hunter ears always super sensitive picked that up making him exclaim out loud, "Excuse me, WHAT?"

    The manager didn't react but simply asked, "So one king for you two lads then?", smirking a little and fumbling through the room keys below the desk somewhere.

    "What? No, no, no. Two queens! We're…we're just brothers." Dean was surprised. He always wished for what the manager thought they were but that was so totally out of the question right? Coz they were brothers…just brothers. Not again! Dean needed to push those thoughts out now before it gets any worse. Even dad's not here. He needs to be in control of himself and not focus on his cute, sexy, tall younger brother.

    Man he should have thought about this. They were gonna be alone for a while in the same room, on their first ever solo hunt! Crap!

    "Yeah, sure whatever darlin'", said the manager still smirking. What was wrong with this guy, was all Dean could think. Can't they be brothers or what? Asshole! He just got his own expressions under control before Sam may pick up on them and start more questioning again! Snatching away the keys and paying the cash up front he left to find the room.

 ~

    Sam did notice how freaked out Dean got when the manager thought they were a couple. Sure Sam was embarrassed and blushing and briefly remembering the night they kissed. Ofcourse that had freaked out Dean as well and made him distanced and cut off and forcing him to drown himself in girls and liquor. But it was a good memory for Sam. Maybe he should talk about that with Dean. Now that they are older, wiser he may be able to forgive him? Maybe even go back to being more comfortable around Sam like he once used to be. If only Sam hadn't been so stupid, he would still have had his Dean.

    Or maybe not. He had just gotten back on a slightly normal terms with Dean. He rather not push his luck too much in one day. Its not like Dean is gong anywhere….maybe Sam will but Dean would still be around right? Atleast Sam would want that. Dean was already in the bathroom by the time Sam made it in with the bags and dumping them in the corner.

    Flopping down on the bed he stretched his legs! Sure his feet stuck out at the end of the bed but it was so much better with him being able to stretch his long legs. It felt like home even with those scratchy motel bed sheets which Sam was more than familiar with by now.

    Dean came out of the bathroom having finally relieved himself and was going through his duffel bags for some change of clothes.

    " Man, I'm beat. Gonna take the first shower Sammy, you wanna use the bathroom before that? "

    "Yeah, yeah I guess I will." replied Sam, forcing himself to get up and relieve his aching and too full bladder. As soon was he was out Dean brushed past him and locked himself in the bathroom again.

     Was it really gonna be so awkward? He has definitely gotta do something about this. He was pretty sure Dean was going to stay in there as long as Sam was up. Again trying to avoid any and all meaningful conversations that Sam may try and make him go through. But Sam wasn't gonna go there. He almost just got some of his brother back this morning, he wasn't so stupid as to risk losing something that good again.

~

    Dean was already under the shower when he heard the bed creaking. Pretty sure that was Sammy settling in for the night. He left out a breath he didn't know he was holding and began his usual ritual for shower. It had been a really tiring journey. But the thing that was stuck and irritating him right now was why had the manager, at the front desk, thought they were a couple? 

    Giving it way more thought than it would actually require, he simply came to the conclusion that it was cause it was just two run-off guys in a no-tell motel. Previously they had always had their dad checking them in, it was the first time that it was just the two of them alone. And he knows its horribly wrong but he couldn't help feeling a little aroused at the thought. Immediately changing the water temperature to run cold and to stop it from going any further.

    By the time he stepped out of the bathroom in his sweats Sam was fast asleep. It just somehow made Dean stop by the door. He could see Sam's face contorting into unease, probably cause of some nightmare. Dean was just itching to be able to go over to his Sammy and calm him down like he once used to without having to think about it twice. But not anymore, he can't, He just doesn't himself enough to be too near Sammy. It would scare him and make him run in just the opposite direction, away from the business, away fom him. Dean swallowed a lump in his throat thinking how would he ever be able to breathe forget living without seeing his Sammy next to him everyday. It was just too much.

    Also he couldn't protect him if he left. And that was kinda his sole job wasn't it? He had to look out for his brother. Always.

~

The hunt was an easy one. So much so that Dean thought it was a waste of time. He along with Sam and dad has friend some really big fish. But he was also taught that a job was a job, you gotta do it no questions asked and finish it. Cause if they don’t know one will. And well, peoples' lives were at stake here.

    It was a simple haunting at the old royal Maison family house that was had been abandoned for over 2 decades now. The last living one to live there was a young woman by the name of Elizabeth Anne Maison. She lived there alone with some house maids. As the tale goes she loved and was engaged to a guy who was a poor farmer's son but soon found out that he was planning on leaving her and was only with her for her money. Devastated and in a moment of madness she had killed her fiancé before killing herself too. The body, as was the family ritual, was buried in the cemetery behind the house.

    For the past twenty years, over 16 couples had gone missing all last known to have been either near or in the house. Any slight rumour of a place being haunted those stupid people just have to go poking their noses where it doesn't belong. Well ofcourse now they have all ended up dead with Sam and Dean left to handle the job.

    And like Dean says, spirits and monsters he gets but people are just plain crazy. Tell them they can't do something and they want to do that exact same thing.

    The impala was parked hidden behind the bushes and the huge oak tree near the back of the Maison house. All set with the tools and the salt loaded shotguns Sam and Dean very quietly made their way through the grounds to the back of the house to try and find Elizabeth's grave, to salt it and burn the bones, to finish the job before someone else dies over it. The impala was parked hidden behind the bushes and the huge oak tree near the back wall.

~

    Just a normal hunt, is that too much to wish for? As it turns out it was. So the ghost of Elizabeth wasn't happy when the boys dug up her grave and were about to put her to rest, permanently. So just when Dean started salting the bones while Sam poured gasoline over it, the wind picked up and they both got the chills. Not a good sign.

    "Oh come on, bitch!", Dean started yelling, "We are trying to put you to rest!" That's when he felt the blow hit him mid rib, making him fly off backwards with enough force that he landed a good 10 feet away on his face! He was about to get up but felt, a cold crushing weight over him and in all the confusion he could hear Sam's voice calling out his name.

    _Little busy here, Sammy. Burn the bloody bones already!_

    A rough, croaky voice began to whisper in his ear which only added to the chills he already had, "Well, well, you can try saving people, especially that little baby brother of yours but we all know who is gonna end up hurt. I'll save you from the hurt. He is going to leave you but I can change that! Right here, right now! He is the love of your life." A little whimper left his throat but he was too much in shock to do or say anything. The force the ghost had over him nearly crushing all the air out of his lungs.

    _Sammy! SAM! NO!!_

    "Why not? He dies, you die! And you can be together forever in your own little heaven, wouldn't you like that? I can give that to you. Otherwise he is gonna leave you. He'll leave you all alone to rot and you can't do anything to change that! NOTHING!!!!"

    The last word the bitch spoke out loud and the air was filled with screams! The chills turned to heat. Soon it was all gone but the screaming didn't seem to stop. Dean wished it would stop, it was too much, too much!

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments it'll help motivate me to write more chapters and publish on time too! :*


	8. In The Aftermaath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> both brothers are shaken and vulnerable! That's just how they end up working things out.

"Hey, hey now don't go passing out on me Dean, please..?" was all Dean heard Sammy say. Stupid ghosts. Dean slowly turned around and got up into a sitting position, wincing with the pain that he could now feel on his right shoulder. Crap what did the bitch do? All he could see was some blood dripping down and a warm sticky feeling spreading near his shoulder. Great, that will probably require stitches.  
Sam was by his side with the duffel bags over his shoulder and trying to help Dean get up. Out of habit, Dean starts searching Sam for any serious injuries.  
"I'm fine, Dean. Just a couple of bruises. You on the other hand got it pretty bad it seems."  
"What happened?", grumbled Dean, swaying slightly against Sam while trying to clear his head and regain his balance. And his throat hurt. Why does his throat hurt?  
"Well, I messed up a little. She got the jump on you and there was a sort of force that was preventing me from getting any closer to you and I stupidly wasted a couple of minutes there before I remembered about burning her bones. I know, stupid right? I'm sorry", Sammy actually felt ashamed and blamed himself for Dean getting hurt, but he didn't know what was actually hurting Dean most right now.  
"It's oka..y..ahem…why…does my throat hurt?" Dean groaned as they were making their way back to the Impala.  
"Umm before you passed out, you were kind of screaming your lungs out. I didn't get why…I was gonna ask you why that was actually?"  
So, it was me who was screaming in the end.  
~  
Dean didn't answer Sam's question, just got in the driver seat, leaving Sam to put away the bags and get in.  
They were back at the motel and Dean still hadn't said a word.  
"Dean..?" Sam asked questioningly, still trying to figure out what happened. They had just gotten back to normal, why was it ruined again?  
"Do you want the shower first or should I?" , was Dean's reply from near his duffel bag where he was already taking out a change of clothes.  
Sam let out a huff of irritated breath, "You need it. Go ahead. I'll order in some pizza."  
Dean just took his clothes andwent straight to the bathroom. So what was the problem now and how was Sam supposed to fix it if he didn't know what he did wrong?  
Sam just shrugged off his jacket and took out his cell to order in lest his brother would be even crankier than he already was. He could hear the shower and was digging through his duffel bag for his change of clothes when he found the first aid kit. He knew Dean has a gash that definitely needed sewing up on his shoulder. How was that gonna work out? Dean won't let him close to him, hell you couldn't even find him without his shirt off near Sammy, and dad wasn't here to sew it up.  
So Sammy had his mind set on this. He felt like Dean never trusted him anymore and he hated that. He wanted back in on Dean's trust and affection and the closeness they once shared before Sam foolishly enough went ahead and ruined it. He still didn't trust himself around Dean but he had to suppress some feelings crap and he could atleast manage that much for one night for his brother's health couldn't he?  
The pizza was already delivered by the time Dean was out of the bathroom. Sam was sitting at the table with the first aid kit and a bottle of whiskey at ready.  
And he was right about the gash. It wasn't long but it was deep enough and Dean was still bleeding and could not wear a shirt but has a towel pressed against it under pressure to try and stop the blood flow.  
Dean was looking around for the first aid kit and stopped when he saw it at the table next to Sam.  
~  
"Sit down here, I'll sew it up", Sam said taking out the cottons and threads and needle from the box.  
"It's, uh, you don't need to. I'll just do it myself", Dean was about to reach out for the box when Sam snapped back at him.  
"Dean, man, I get it okay. You're mad for whatever reason you don't wanna tell me fine. Just you know you can't do it yourself so just stop acting like a jerk and let me. And then after you can go back to sulking around and throwing a bitchface all you want okay!"  
Sam left out a breath and waiting for Dean to snap back at him but it never came. Sam wasn't just right but Dean was too tired and in a lot of pain, both mentally and physically, to do anything about it. He shuffled a few more steps and sat down quitely on the chair removing the towel from his shoulder.  
He suddenly felt cold and exposed and could feel his brother's eyes on his back. All of that did things to Dean, things that were perverse to even think of in context with his brother but his mind and body never listened to any sort of reason apparently. They just reacted.  
Dean sat still while Sam's expert hands moved swiftly trying to do the job with as little pain for Dean as possible. A few swigs, maybe more, of whiskey helped too. And before he knew it Sam was covering the now stitched wound with gauze and tape.  
"Uh, it doesn't look too bad. You'll be able to use arm just fine. I'll just go." Sam just got up trying to get away, hoping to not cause another fight. Yeah right, like thay ever happens when the Winchester brothers are concerned!  
"Oh yeah! Go! That's just what you always do isn't it? Just leave." Those words made Sam stop mid way to keeping away the medical supplies back.  
"What does that mean?" Sam was both worried amd concerned now. He really did wanna know what had gotten his brother so wound up? Didn't they settle it back in the car? What changed?  
Dean just scoffed and got up off the chair, or well tried to as he stumbled his way to the bed and would have face planted on the floor if Sam's strong hands hadn't caught him in time. But Dean just pushed Sam away till he did fall. Now he just sat by the edge of the bed, and was he, wait a minute, was Dean crying?  
There were definite tear tracks running down his big brother's cheeks and that just pushed Sam to his limit. In a flash he was right in front of his brother hugging and mumbling whatever words came to his mouth.  
"Dean no no! Hey please don't cry. Just tell me what I did wrong. I promise I'll make it right. Just...jjust tell me..ppleaspplease Dean!" And before he knew it Sam was crying too.  
"Why do you wanna leave Sam? Is...is it because you're disgusted by me...iisn't it? I should never have....I'm sorry!" Dean was a blabbering mess by now and Sam was trying his best to understand what exactly he meant, " I couldn't help it. I ... I tried okay... I know it's wrong but I couldn't stop thinking about it... about that kiss... you were drunk and I took an advantage of that.. whatt kind of disgusting person does that to his own brother? I know I but...mmmmm"  
Before either one of themthem could make sense of what was happening, Sam had decided to shut up his brother's rambling by kissing him smack on the lips. It hardly lasted a few seconds as an both were in too much of an emotional shock to understand what was going on.


	9. Heat of the Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is exactly what the title says. They just can't keep their hands or lips off each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments. I wanna know you if guys really do want to read it. :)

It was too much and not enough at the same time. But things shouldn't just go there. Dean was still in shock and staring.  
Oh I have got to be dreaming! Why can't I stop? But.... this time it was so .... perfect? It felt real. Close. True. It felt like...  
" Sammy? What... why are you doing this? I'm sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you. Now you'll just leave me won't you?" And right now Dean was very scared. Just a second away from a panic attack. But then Sam's hands were on either side of his face, which was enough to ground him and make him look up into those glistening hazel eyes. His alcohol addled brain must definitely be imagining things cause Dean could have sworn that the way his Sammy looked at him was more that what you could call brotherly love!  
But how could that be right? He was the sick one in the family. No matter if he did actually love Sammy, it was still perverse right? Or maybe not? How is he supposed to judge.  
" Dean..,, it's not your fault. It was never your fault" and his Sammy was finally smiling? Why was that!? Is he happy to leave Dean's sorry ass behind him, finally? That's what he was planning to do right?  
" I love you too.... you ....uuh.... that night when I kissed you? You didn't make me do anything I didn't want okay. Please believe me De.... I really wanted to... had been for so, so long that I couldn't stop myself. Like right now.." and suddenly Sammy was kissing him again. Oh that was definitely not the brotherly kind of kiss. And damn, it felt so good. Sam's slightly chapped yet moist lips, tough from all the rough work they do and still so soft! Dean's memory and dreams never did enough justice to how it actually felt like kissing his baby brother.  
" Wait... but.." it took all of Dean's self control to push those lips away to string two words together. " Sammy what are you doing? What am I doing? This... this is so vey wrong... I shouldn't!.."  
" No... " Dean's rambling was once again cut short by Sam, " Dean you're not the one doing anything here. You never were. I want this. Dean... please. Let me have this. For once let me have what I have longed my entire life. Don't you want this!? I'lI stop if you don't. "  
And this time it was Dean you attacked his baby brother's lips with love and vengeance all rolled in one. He had never been so turned on just by kissing someone in his entire life. Was it even possible to be this turned on just by kissing someone? Apparently yes, cause all the blood from his brain was definitely rushing down between his legs. And oh no, that was not a good sign. He should stop.  
And they do stop, but not for more than a couple of seconds for air and were back at it with full force. Licking and nipping and moaning and whimpering? Nope, Dean Winchester does not whimper from kissing. That must be Sammy, okay maybe a little of Dean too, but he'll totally deny it if you asked later.  
" Sammy... uh..."  
" Hmmmm ...yeyes De.."  
Dean was addicted to those lips already. And just when he thought it couldn't get any better Sam started moving his hand down Dean's side, who still didn't have any shirt on. With his tongue still trying to map Dean's mouth, Sam's hands started their own discovery down Dean's body.  
Fingers splayed over Dean's chest, Sam tweaked one of Dean's nipples and Dean actually gasped, followed by a low rumbling moan when Sam continued his assault on his brother's gorgeous body.  
Despite the alcohol added to the arousal Dean had enough brain cells working to know where his brothers hand were headed. And not a second too late, the back of Sam's hand grazed his erection, that was already getting too painful for him in his too tight jeans. He needed release or he might combust right there in his brother's arms with those sinful lips on his own mouth.  
~  
Sam knew there was a reason he craved it. It was so good. Having had quite some experience with kissing others, both boys and girls, Sam could bet his life that this was the best he's ever had.  
And thank God he was not the only one with a straining erection. As soon has his hand grazed Dean's they both stopped momentarily, just to wrap their heads around the reality of this actually happening!  
" We should move up on the bed. This... uh can't be comfortable for you." And that was all the self restraint Sam had before attacking his brother's lips again along with trying to get him up and move him over to one of their beds, without Dean falling or stumbling anymore.  
Once he had Dean in the most comfortable position possible he himself got rid of his own shirt and jeans before laying down next to Dean. He was still surprised with how bold he felt right now and how complete Dean made him just by being there, being his. He knew repercussions would follow their acts the next morning but he didn't have it in himself anymore to be bothered by that just yet. He had one chance at proving to Dean how much he loved him and no matter what, he was not gonna give up till he did.  
All this while, Dean just lay there looking up at Sam with shiny lust blown eyes. The green only seen as a thin ring around all the black. Those eyes into which Sam could stare till the end of all eternity without having to even blink his eyes. And now he could, so he did. With eyes still fixed on Dean's he started moving his hands down to rid Dean of his jeans.  
He needed to get as close to Dean as he physically could. Moving the restricting clothing away was atleast a start. All Dean did was look at Sam but Sam could feel Dean's hands twitching at his sides as if trying to stop them from getting anywhere near Sam's body.  
Having gotten rid of Dean's jeans, Sam now worked at getting rid of those boxers next. " Touch me Dean. I know you want to. I want you to... Let go, please."  
As if a switch was flipped and suddenly Dean couldn't get enough of Sam. Dean needed to touch and remember and not let go of any part of his Sammy. Dean kissing whatever skin he could reach. His calloused hand had a death grip over Sam's hips that were sure leave bruises. Sam had no complaints about that. If anything he wanted those to be there to remind him this wasn't just a dream or an imagination. This was real, they were real.  
And the kisses got rougher, with more biting and more moaning and Sam got both their erections free. There was no way he could let go any longer to get them any lube, spit and pre-cum would have to do for this time.  
As soon as Sam's too huge hands were wrapped around both their erections Dean's hips bucked up involuntarily seeking more of the warm, rough heat.  
" No, don't move." Sam said, holding Dean down witha slight pressure on his hips, "You'll hurt yourself. I'll take care of you."  
And Sam did. Using his spit and the combined pre-cum oozing out of their slits, he kept up a slow pace at jerking them off together. They we both panting now and Sam gave up kissing just so he could see them, see Dean writhing under him in pleasure. Half lidded eyes, letting out little moans whenever Sam moved his hand over the head of their dicks just right. It all turned Sam on further and further. He was never gonna give this up. Soon Dean's hands joined his and Sam literally jerked with the burst of pleasure he felt.  
It was better that all of his dirty dreams that always left him hard in the morning. Dean increased their pace and Sam could feel his orgasm coiling up deep within him. Dean's breaths came out faaster and shorter and he knew Dean must be close too. And now Sam was desperate to see his brother fall apart under him.  
" Come on, Dean. Come for me....aaaah I wanna see you come." and Dean was suddenly bucking under his hands, not able to hold it in any longer. Sam'sSam's gaze was transfixed to his brother's facem not wanting to miss anything. Dean finally came with an unexpected shout, right into their entwined hands still moving up and down their dicks through Dean's orgasm. Spurt after spurt coating their hands and bodies and spreading between them.  
The intensity of it all threw Sam right over the edge and he felt him own orgasm rip out of him from someplace deep. He came with his brother's name on his lips, spasming. While his own hand lost its pace he could still feel Dean milking every last bit of cum out of him. His own cum mixing up with Dean's.  
Sam was in heaven, atleast the temporary post orgasmic one, and he never wanted to come down from than high. His rolled of and lay next to Dean, not wanting to crush him, while he tried to catch his breath. He could feel Dean coming down from his high next to him when the reality of it actually hit him. He just jerked off together with his brother, he finally got to have his brother, he actually came with his brother and it was their cum cooling on their bodies right now! Okay the last bit is supposed to be kinda disgusting but how can Sam be disgusted when its all that he dreamt of since he hit puberty and fell in love with his big brother. It was surreal and yet it wasn't. Wow. And that was definitely the best orgasm he's ever had... so far.... well hopefully? He had the right to be a little optimistic right now.  
But not too much. Dean had already passed out from all the whiskey and post orgasmic bliss. Sam wanted to fall asleep too but he did not want to add a bitch fit to the already looming freak out he was gonna face in the morning from Dean, and decided to clean them bith off before he actually drifted off to the peace and quiet like Dean. He cleanex himself off first, the best he could, in the bathroom first before bring back two warm, wet towels to clean off Dean as well.  
He liked this, taking care of his brother. It was all oddly satisfying because he knew how much time his brother spent worrying about him, their dad and taking care of everything. Especially, Sammy. He was thankful and this was his way of showing atleast some of his gratitude towards it all. Cleaning sown between Dean's legs, Dean let out a little moan, but didn't exactly wake up, just shifted a little in his sleep. Sam's dick gave an interested little twitch, and Sam has an urge to taste his brother, to feel the weight of his dick in his mouth, to be intimate in all kinds of way but all of that had to wait for a while.  
If Sam knew his brother even a little, he knew tomorrow was gonna be a rough day, for both of them and it definitely needed for them to talk. He was glad that their father was not there and won't be around anytime soon so that made the matters a little less complicated.  
After contemplating for a little while, Sam decided to sleep next to Dean in the same bed. He did not wanna be away for one, and two, if it all fell apart tomorrow atleast he would have had tonight to remember, forever. 

Please, God. Don't let this be the only time.

With one last look, Sam finally fell asleep with his arms wrapped aound his brither to keep him anchored there. And he really wished to never wake up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was my very first time writing anything sexual and I bet I was awful at it. *Sigh* I'm hoping I'd get better. Any tips? Suggestions? They are all welcome so don't hesitate.  
> Also it'll be a while before I post the next chapter cause I have my exams coming up.  
> But I promise, things are gonna get really interesting and really hot from now on. ;)


	10. Breathe Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning and the freak out came all too soon for Sam. Anyway, he still had to deal with this, with his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! My exams have ended and as I promised here is the next update. 
> 
> So, the name of this chapter, as well as the final scene is a little bit (okay a lot) inspired from this gay love scene from the German Soap Opera 'Verbotene Liebe'. It is my favourite on-scene gay love moment and couple, and they play this song "Breathe Me" by Sia in the background. I literally swoon everytime I hear it. You should give it a try too. :)

    For a change Dean didn't wake up cold. He did wake up, or well was atleast starting to wake up, with a headache, but that was a regular when you drink as much as he does. It’s a common phenomenon with the Winchester men. So no, that did not surprise him. Nor did the God awful taste in his mouth that something died in it a month ago. It was the fact that he was comfortable and warm and sated in his bed which, to be truthful, never happened. Unless you counted the times when Sammy was still a kid and used to seek his brother's arms for comfort when scared by his nightmares. Once that stopped so did everything else. So what was different today?

    With difficulty he pried his eyes open and turned his head to the right where he could feel his hand numb being buried all night under something heavy he presumed. What he didn't expect was that something heavy to be his baby brother's giant head. Next he looked down where he could see Sam's hand over his stomach, holding him down like a solid weight. If only it all to worry about. Apparently he was most definitely naked, he could tell by shifting around a little, but so was Sam. He could see his brother's naked ass peeking from the covers where they had shifted down as they slept together.

_HOLY SHIT. THEY SLEPT TOGETHER._

_WHAT?_

_SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!_

_No no no no_

_What the Hell did you do Dean? Where you that drunk that you forced your brother into this? Oh. My. God._

    He could feel his heartbeat pick up and drum through his ears. How could he have done such a thing? Having repressed feelings for your little brother and accidents here and there were already ruining his life, those were already driving his brother away. But this? This was a whole new level of awful. He should be burned in Hell for this forever. And it wasn't that the incest was that bad a thing, a taboo if you may. No. It was how low could Dean drop and give in to his desires, to his dark side, to force his brother, his little brother, into such a thing!

    He was a monster and Sam had all the rights to hate him, to leave his sorry ass alone and get away. He deserved to be happy and not…not be raped by his older brother!

    Tears finally started to fall but did they mean anything? After what he did he deserved to be dead, how would crying make it better. Self-pity won't buy him forgiveness, nor should it.

_Oh Sam. I'm sorry. How could I?_

And right now he could do nothing but get out of Sam's hair. So that's what he did. He tried to gently free his right arm, while wiping away the tears with his left. His ministrations were causing Sam to stir slowly in his sleep. He could not face his brother right now. But as his arm came free and he tried to slip away from his brother, the stirring turned to mumbling and Sam finally woke up.

    "Dean..what's…what's wrong?", Sam said groggily while trying to reach his brother's wrist, which Dean slipped past him and jumped out of bed as if on fire. Grabbing whatever clothes he could find near the bed, he all but ran inside the bathroom. He would get dressed and be out of here, alone, as soon as possible. That would be the best thing for them.

~

     Sam knew he had to deal with his brother's freak out but he expected, or atleast wished it to be later rather than sooner. But this had to stop. HE can't keep going on like this and neither can Dean. He was certain, okay fairly certain, that Dean wanted him just as badly as he did. And they were both consenting adults right? There shouldn't be any problem. Maybe the incest part was bothering his brother a little but that was a taboo in some cultures, not all! It's not as if they live a normal apple pie life anyway. What's one more fucked up thing to wholly fucked up life?

    Reasoned out enough, it was time to settle this down once and for all. So Sam got up, picked up his own set of clothes that he could find, and _shit where is my underwear_ , and started dressing up in a hurry.

    This was a lot like Deja-Vu! Like the first time they kissed on the couch. Sam remembered that night clearly and he was pretty sure Dean did too. And now he had no reason to feel guilty about it. He gave up on what they could have had all along but this time Sam wasn't backing down easy. Not without a fight atleast.

   _TAP TAP TAP_

"Dean? Open up." _TAP TAP,_ "Dean, please. We should talk. You don't have to freak out. I'm not freaking out. Dean, I know you're in there. Please, just talk to me, Dean!", sighing deeply Sam continued to knock and say whatever he could think of to get his brother to listen to him. Right now, though, with the shower and the tap running, he was pretty sure his brother was doing the damndest to avoid just that. Why did Dean have to be the most self-righteous son of a bitch at the worst of moments?

    It was time for bolder steps.

    "Dean please, I'm begging you to just listen to me okay? Please…", and Sam could finally hear the shower being turned off and the tap too not soon after. That was a good a sign as any that his brother was listening.

    "Dean, I… I love you. I am in love with you. I have been in love with you since before I even knew what it really meant. You…you're it for me Dean. And last night, whatever happened, I know you felt it too. Just let me in once. Tell me I'm not wrong and you feel something too, or just tell me I'm wrong. Give me something to work with. I can't take the confusion and the silence anymore. Just…Just tell me I'm wrong.." and Sam was trying to stifle a sob, "and…and I promise I will never bother you again. I promise I'll leave you…".

    The _alone_ part was left unsaid because at that precise moment Dean wrenched the door open with enough force that it was in a danger of being ripped off its hinges.

    "No…" It wasn't a shout, it was Dean scolding him. It was more like a plea of a dying man.

    Dean quietly stepped out of the bathroom and took a few steps towards the couch. Sam's gaze followed him but Dean didn't look up or turn around to face him. He stood there with his hands on the back of the couch bracing him. As if trying to collect himself before attempting to say anything.

    "I'm…" Dean paused before continuing, "I'm head over heels in love with you. I know it's wrong and I shouldn't but nothing seems to help change that. God knows I've tried. I was afraid if I did or said something you'd…that you will leave me. But it doesn't matter. Sam, I'm sorry, but I'm in love with you."

~

    Dean stood very still. Waiting for what blow was to follow his words, but none came. His hunter skills were good enough for him to know that Sam was coming closer. Would he slap him? Call all what he said just pretence to get Dean to admit to this? Maybe it was all just a set up. But Dean had had enough of heartbreak and angst. He couldn't hide it anymore. Even if he had to be die for it. This was his moment of truth.

    All too soon Sam's hand touched him gently on his shoulder making him turn around to face his brother. It took a lot of courage to get himself to look up straight into Sam's eyes. They were misty, just like Dean's were.

    And as Sam's hand gently glided upwards from his shoulder to his face, cupping his cheek, Sam leaned forward and whispered "Thank you". Those words for full on love and devotion that Dean didn't even think he deserved anymore and yet Sam didn't seem to get the memo. And he didn't just stop at the whispering. He continued to lean forward and Dean was afraid, first time in a very long time. His eyes closed on their own accord and his heartbeat sped up waiting for the unknown to happen.

    And it did when Sam's lips gently pressed against his. This time he could feel them in full force.. Cause this time, for the first time, he wasn't drunk and this was definitely not a mistake. And he released a breath he didn't even know he was holding. As his lips parted for that, Sam all so subtlety slipped his tongue into his mouth. It made Dean catch his next breath. Should he stop? Should he continue? Where would this lead them?

    Sam gently spoke against his lips, "I love you, Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, your dirty minds have got it right about what follows in the next chapter!
> 
> How do you like the story so far? Does it make sense? Do you hate it? LET ME KNOW! And leave kudos! :)
> 
> P.s. Also, I can't seem to decide who should bottom first? Sam or Dean? What do you guys think?


	11. When the Levee Breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say that they were finally headed the right way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter guys. And I dunno how its supposed to work but I'm looking for a beta! I hate reading what I write and it's why i end up making mistakes, mostly typos. And can someone help me out here? Plus I also need that little push from someone to make me keep writing. I don't know anyone on this forum so I'm just asking anyone whose good with their English to please, please help me a little. Thank you :)  
> Oh and enjoy this chapter. I wrote it especially for you!

When the dam finally breaks, the water gushes out with enough force to drown the whole town! It disrupts and engulfs anything that dares obstruct its path. It had been forced to be locked down and stay in one place long enough that when it finally finds its freedom it grabs it. Just a tiny speck of opening is enough and soon a complete town submerges.  
This here was the opening for Sam and Dean. It may have been all calm and serene before from a distance but if anyone had dared to come close enough, they might have seen the storm slowly brewing up beneath the depths.   
~  
It was all in a blur and yet it was still deliciously slow at the same time. Right now there were, literally, no words to truly explain their feelings. And if you asked Dean, he may actually swear that time had skipped a couple of millennia.  
It started with Sam tentatively kissing Dean. It took Dean a little while to wrap his head around the rawness, the devotion that he sensed in his brother's voice and expressions before he could fully respond by kissing back. It doesn't matter what the world says, if it was possible to be addicted to one person then Sam was it for Dean. Once he let go, he didn't trust himself to stop devouring his baby brother at any cost. Okay, maybe it was not a good idea to think about it like that. But that's what he was doing, right? But he also knew Sam wanted it. Sam started it. And he never could deny his baby brother anything. Especially when he put his puppy dog eyes to their full force. He knew they had enough power to be the death of him one day.  
~  
Sam knew Dean would never force him to do anything, because his morals got in the way a lot. And if Sam did leave it to his brother they would end up kissing by the couch and not even on it for hours before Dean would even dare to take the reins into his own hands. So Sam was gonna drive it this time. He couldn't deny the heat of arousal that swept over him at just the thought of that. Sam controlling Dean Winchester in bed? Yeah, that was definitely something.   
Apparently, Sam's hands had a mind of their own and had already started exploiting their chance of tracing every inch of Dean's body. And they did not like the all the clothing that was between him and Dean's skin. Thus, soon enough Sam found his fingers moving down his to his brother's waist, where he started tugging at the edge of Dean's t-shirt.   
He was getting clumsy with the hurried movements in order to get it all off but he wouldn't dare let go of Dean's lips kissing him. Till he had to take it off all the way. Even that one tenth of a second was hard for him. Deciding against moving this to the couch because, seriously, have you seen them? Bed would be comfortable for all that they had in mind. Well, at least Sammy did.   
Shuffling backwards towards the bed, getting off your brothers clothes and kissing him senseless all at the same time isn't as easy as you may think really. Sam just barely caught themselves from stumbling over motel furniture and stuff that was still strewn all over the floor from last night. Who cares if he dies right now? He's already in heaven. Just as he was about to sit back down on the bed and he had Dean in only his boxers, Dean pulled back.   
~  
"Wait.. Wait! Sam wh..what are we doing?", Dean barely manages to whisper looking directly into those almond shapes eyes that always seemed to change colors with Sammy's mood. But at this very moment were lust blown and black!   
And OH God! I'll never make it through this alive!  
Catching his breath he looked down to avoid staring at his brother's spit slicked, kiss swollen lips as they were hardly helping his case right now he tried to continue, " Shouldn't we just talk…." but Sam broke his off with a forceful kiss taking his remaining breath away.  
"Sure we can Dean. Definitely. But right now can we just have this. I'm not going anywhere." And those key words just filled Dean with so much hope and relief that now he's the one putting all of himself into the kiss and well, he was down to his boxers so Sammy's clothes should be off too.   
With all of their clothes except their boxers out of the way Dean gave Sam the final push to get him to lie down on the bed and following him down. Now Sam lay beneath him with their painfully hard erections brushing p against each other and the fabric. Dean broke of in order to taste more of his brother and also to avoid coming right there in his boxers like a teenager. He licked the shell of his ear and gently whispered, still a little out of breath, "What do you want, Sammy?"  
"Anything! Uh..Every..everything. I want you, Dean." Sam gasped out, trying to get his sluggish brain to work.  
Dean made his way down to tease those pretty, dusky nipples. He rolled one between his fingers, pinching it, while he took the other in his mouth. Sam gasped and moaned. " Dee…ahhh!"   
But Dean, feeling bold, didn't just wanna stop there and his fingers played with the elastic of Sammy's boxers. "Want to see you. All of you! Can I?"   
Sam just raised his hips tor Dean to get his boxers out of the way in terms of his consent. Free from its constraints, his dick stood all red and leaking pre-cum demanding attention.  
~  
And Is this really happening? If it’s a dream, just don't ever let me wake up from this.  
That was Sam's last coherent thought before Dean licked at the head of his cock. Sam is not sure if Dean had ever done anything with a guy before but who cares? Today he was the one who gets to have Dean and he was never letting go. And then all his coherency flew out of the window when Dean wrapped his mouth around the head of his dick.   
"Jesus! Dean!", Sam almost shouted and hips bucked up on their own accord seeking more of the wet heat of Dean's mouth. "Hmm easy there tiger. I gotcha." Dean mumbled wrapping one hand around the base and placing the other on Sam's hip to keep him from bucking up again. He was holding on tight and knew his fingers were going to leave very visible marks for them to see the evidence the next day. But Sam loved it.   
Having got Sam in place he licked the pre-cum oozing out of the slit before finally closing his mouth around it once again. He tried to take as in as much as he could but Sam wasn't exactly small. What he could not cover with his mouth he did with his hands. It was just the right amount of pressure and slow deep strokes that kept Sam on the edge. He could feel Dean trying to get more and more into his mouth and Sam lay very, very still. Small shivers ran through his body and he kept moaning without even realizing how loud he was getting.   
He could feel the pressure of his on coming orgasm building and he decided to warn Dean, " Dean, I'm..I'm gonna.." and he looked down at his brother and that was it. Seeing those spit covered, puffy red lips around his cock and Dean's gaze straight up looking at him from under those pretty eyelashes Sam just couldn't help it. With a final shout of "Dean!" Sam came with Dean's mouth still sucking around the head of his dick!  
~  
Dean got load after load of Sam's cum in his mouth which dribbled down the side as he tried to keep it all in and swallow. Thanks to Sam warning him beforehand he did not end up choking on his brother's cum. This was not exactly his first time giving another guy a blowjob but this was definitely the one he loved so far. He removed his hand from where it was on Sam's hip holding him down to his own dick rubbing it though his boxers.  
He knew he would not be able to last long. With the look of ecstasy on Sam's face on repeat when he came, Dean's hand got more frantic and he could feel the familiar tingling start in his toes. Something about sucking his brother down was so hot that he came right then and there. At least he was able to get his boxers tucked under his balls, thankfully out of harms way. He continued to stroke himself through his orgasm while letting go on Sam's over stimulated cock.   
Wow! That was…  
"..uh awesome!" he heard Sam still a little dazed and apparently mirroring his thoughts. This certainly counted among Dean's nights of top 10 orgasms and they hadn't even gotten to the actual sex part. So, okay, maybe he should not be that hopeful just yet but damn this was good and just why didn't they do this before?  
Cause they couldn't get their heads out of their asses to see what's in front of them, his brain helpfully provided. Looking up he could see his baby brother still panting a little with a smile at the corners of his mouth and love in his eyes. They were both still covered in a sheen of sweat and they certainly needed to get up and clean but right now they couldn't even look away from each other. But what exactly are they supposed to do now? What do you do when you tell and show your baby brother just how much you love him? Was there some rules or guidelines that could help them out here?   
He was happy, yes, but right now he was also very, very confused.  
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it? Hate it? LEMME KNOW! Really!  
> I always love feedback!


	12. The Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean still need to figure some things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for liking this story and especially for all the comments too. My muse like them. It makes it active. So please keep them coming and I'll try to post chapters sooner than later. I'm so sorry for making you guys wait for them.

When Sam next woke up it was middle of the day from what he could make out from the light penetrating the room through the curtain covered windows. So no, he did not exactly pass out from that orgasm, but he did end up in a blissful sleep next to the best person in the world, his Dean. Yeah, that did have a nice ring to it. Dean had quietly wiped them off with his now discarded boxers and had climbed up next to Sam. They had traded a few languid kisses before they both dozed off.   
He looked at Dean sleeping next to him, peacefully, maybe even a little relieved, like some weight had been lifted off those shoulders. Sam was glad to know he was behind this, that he could bring some happiness to Dean who spent his every breath trying to do the best for both him and their dad. Well, let's avoid that. Bringing up their dad right now when they both were lying down intertwined and naked as the day they were born was really awkward and definitely what Sam would like to think about and ruin his good mood.  
The next question he should be worried about is where do they go from here? And what exactly is it that Dean is thinking? Well, as for Sam it’s pretty simple. They have to stop living this ridiculous life and move away, as far away as they can from their dad and the life he chose for them. Sure, they were kids then but they were grown up enough to know what they wanted now. An education, a normal life, a home with Dean. Yes, that's really not that much to ask for is it? He knows Dean will understand. But he needs to know that after all this, Sam hasn't read Dean wrong. That he really loves him back with all his heart. He knows he does but he just needs to hear it from Dean, sober and in control.   
Busy with his musings and his plans to decide where they should go next and what should they do when Dean would wake up again, and shivering at those thoughts, he completely missed when Dean started to wake up from his nap.   
~  
"Do you want me to move away?", Dean mumbled still sleepy but withdrawing his hands from where they were entangled with Sam's. All his insecurities were coming back now that he could think more with his upstairs brain rather than his downstairs one.   
"What?", Sam replied started out of his reverie and immediately catching on to Dean's biceps to stop him from moving further away before continuing, "No. Why? Do you want to?"  
"Yeah umm is it my choice to make?" Dean said with a sigh, before looking up into the started eyes of his baby brother.   
Yeah there it is!  
Dean knew it was too good to last. There comes the disgust from his brother. He made further attempts to move away from Sam before grip tightened.   
"What do you mean Dean? Did I… I didn't mean to… I'm sorry if I forced you into this Dean. I'm sorry. Ofcourse you have a choice! I never meant to force you to…." and Sam couldn't continue any further before his eyes started to well up.  
WAIT. WHAT?  
"What? Sam no what are you saying? No. Stop. I just meant that.” Dean took a deep breath. It was finally the time he came clean about what he felt. He's been scared long enough and if his brother hated him already atleast they could part ways with a clear conscience. "Look Sam. I have never had a choice because I can never stay away. I don't know what you think about me or us or this, whatever this is. But I have been in love with you for way too long. It was not always sexual, you have to know that. You have all the right to be angry and disgusted but I can't keep it in anymore." And Dean really did not want to break down in front of his brother anymore, how many times was he gonna embarrass himself like this?  
Taking in another shaky breath he continues not daring to look up just yet, “Its time I came clean. I doubt I could ever give you a date but from quite some time now I've liked you more than just my little brother. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?"  
~  
Sam was watching transfixed. Breathing. He did not trust his voice yet. He actually said it. What he thinks, what he wants? He wants me. Dean loves me and he wants me. He should start smiling, jumping; laughing right about now but all he could manage was a squeak before he all but launched himself over to hug his brother. Tears of joy running down his cheeks unnoticed. For the first time in a really long time, Sam felt completely happy. Like for the first time nothing could go wrong. He knew he needed to say something before his idiot, yet adorable, brother mistook his silence for something entirely different.  
"I love you, too, Dean!" Sam whispered without easing up his grip on his brother, "You should have known this. You know me. You always know what I want, even without me voicing them. You've taken care of me. Been my best friend, supporter, my whole world. There was never a chance in the world that I could ever not be in love with me."  
Letting go, he moved back to now directly face his Dean, lying on their sides as close as they could without squinting. "You have no idea how happy this made me Dean. You're mine. And you'll forever be mine. I love you. God! I love you." And suddenly Dean was smashing his lips against Sam breaking up his chain of thought. Want and whimpers that is all that was left.  
How were they ever gonna be able to have a complete conversation when they just couldn't stay away long enough?   
Reluctantly Sam moved away moaning a little at the loss of that amazing mouth and damn talented tongue. "We really, really need to get out of this bed, Dean. Get a shower, and food.", and made his way back for a few more kisses.   
"Yeah", kiss, "Yeah, you're", nip, lick, "right." Dean sighs and sits up bringing Sam up along with him. "I really do need a double cheeseburger, fries and oooh pie. Definitely some pie for me.” and that was just so Dean that Sam couldn't help but chuckle.   
"You sure you don't love food more? I mean would totally understand, you know", Sam said with a smirk.   
"Oh sweetheart, it will always be my first love." Dean just winked and got up gathering his clothes for a shower. And Sam just couldn't help but think how far gone they both were.  
~  
They both were able to shower, separately, ofcourse. Do you know how small those shower stalls are in these motels? Not that Sam wasn't tempted to join his brother and he was sure the door wasn't locked either, but for their own safety he controlled his urges. They just drove around aimlessly for a while, trying to decide where they wanted to eat, the casual bantering in place. Just being brothers, with occasional heated glances which made the other blush. Sam loved being able to make his brother blush. It usually didn't happen. It is what convinced Sam that Dean indeed loved him.   
They finally settled down at a Diner that the locals claimed was the best around and could serve what they both liked. For Dean, that meant anything with grease and obviously pie, and had some healthier options to choose from for Sam. They were settled in a relatively quiet corner of the diner when the busty waitress with a thin waist made her way towards their table.  
"What can I get you two handsome hunks today?" she said with the widest fake smile ever, her eyes fixed on Dean. It is safe to say that Sam was immediately uncomfortable but then he looked over at Dean, whose eyes didn't even for second waver from Sam, and Sam let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He has Dean's undivided attention. No flirting with the waiting staff was a nice and definitely welcome change.  
Sam cleared his throat that made Cindy, that's what the waitress' nametag said atleast, wake from the trance and change her focus from Dean to Sam, although unwillingly.   
Sam just said their order not asking for the menu and asked Cindy to leave them alone, albeit in not so many words. He did not wanted strangers intruding in on them. Sam wanted to cherish this new relationship that they were starting on and he would really like for them to talk about it, now that they had their upstairs brain running.  
"So where do we go from here?", Sam said without once breaking eye contact with Dean. It was time they hashed out a few things.  
~  
"Well, I guess this job is done. We need to get a new job I guess. We'll just stop by the library or something to pick up some newspapers. Maybe call up Dad and ask if he needs our help." Dean went on before Sam placed his hand over Dean's on the table and forced Dean to stop. Dean looked up at Sam with questioning eyes.   
"No, well, yeah the job is over. But that's not what I meant exactly. I meant for us. Where do we stand now? What are we gonna do?" and Dean knew they were gonna reach this discussion point and he kinda, sorta did try to think over it in the shower and some before he went to sleep last time but he still didn't have a clear answer for Sam. Nor did he know what exactly Sam was expecting for him to say. Dean really didn't want to say the wrong thing here.  
He tried to gulp in the knot that was threatening to form in his throat and said, "I don't know. I don't want to lie to you Sam. I do want us to be together. But. " and he had to look away in order to continue, "But I dunno how are we gonna do it with dad there, you know. It's not like it’s a conventional kind of relationship."   
He let out a sigh before looking back at Sam, "What do you think we should do?"  
Sam was about to speak up when the waitress made her way back with their good. Dean thanked her with a curt nod and a clipped smile. She replied with, "No problem, sugar. Let me know if you need something else." and without even looking at her he could the flirtations that he genuinely wasn't interested in. When he didn't seem to be forthcoming with a response she just left probably cursing him under her breath.   
Sam finally continued with what he was about to speak, "You're right, you know. We can't have what we want with dad around. I guess we should leave." And Dean who was just about to take a bite of those fries dropped them midway to his mouth. Oblivious to this Sam continued, "You know I've been applying to colleges. We should stop hunting and go. We could settle down somewhere, just you and me. Away from this ridiculous life. Right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments and kudos! Not for me, for my muse. Thank you for reading. :)


	13. Thinking Out Loud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They need to figure out some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is not abandoned. My muse is just lazy. I figure there will be 2 more or so chapters before this part ends. And I may write a sequel, i.e. if you guys want me to after this ends.

Okay so this was probably not what Dean expected to hear right at that moment but Sam, "Yeah right, Sammy. Very funny." It was a joke right? But then why wasn't Sam smiling that snarky smirk of his?  
"Why would I be joking about this?" Sam leaned forward, with hid puppy dog eyes in full effect and grabbing both of Dean's hands in his own, enveloping them completely, "Dean, I think we love each other, this part we can both swear upon so why can't we be happily, you know, together. That does not involve me or you getting in danger or hanging our lives off the edge for someone we don't even know. Why do we gotta be the one to sacrifice everything that we have. Haven't we lost enough? Let 's do this right, Dean. You with me?"  
Yeah Dean was still transfixed on those eyes that keep changing color and now were a fascinating shade of brown with gold flecks and yes he did hear what Sam was saying but it's just that his brain seemed a little slow to catch up on what it really means. "So, you mean what? Just dump dad's ass and let him go to the hunts alone without us backing him up? Do you really hate your own father that much, just…Jesus!" and Dean withdrew his hands with a jerk pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes trying to fend off the impeding headache. What was this supposed to mean?   
"What? No. Just, look Dean, how else do you suppose we can have what we want huh? You do want me right? Cause I can give up myself for you, I really do want you that much!", Dean slowly opened his eyes staring at Sam. "So I gotta make a choice? What between you and Dad? Like I can't have one without betraying the other! Is it really gonna come down to blackmail now?" And Dean couldn't help it any longer. He was seeing red now and before he did anything stupid he threw down the money to cover the charges for the food and got up to leave. He wasn't hungry anymore.  
Without looking back for a second he got in the car and drove away, completely ignoring Sam's yells and protests for him to stop and come back.  
~  
Sam was aware that maybe he jumped the gun there, but he thought it was what they both wanted. He didn't have the time to explain himself to Dean here buy hey, it's not like he or Dad ever did listen to him. Always with follow the orders and don't think on your own attitude. He lived it all his life and he was going to be 18 soon enough. And he still haven't been able to tell Dean that he was offered a full ride t Stanford. That he really did have to leave for L. A. in fall and he would prefer if Dean went along with him. Last time he only got as far as admitting that he had applied but he needed to come clean. There's nothing stopping him from having his well deserved shot at a normal life. And shouldn't Dean want it too? Did their dad brainwash him that bad that he can't see how his needs and wants are being stifled and slowly buried alive. Fighting ain't gonna work, neither is running.  
Sam was back at their motel room with take out, waiting impatiently for Dean to come back from his freak out. It had been over 4 hours and he should be back by now. Sam was about to grab his jacket to go look for him when the door swung open and Dean walked in solemnly.  
He saw the take out at the table by the window and without a word sat down to eat, and Sam decided to give him the time. A fed Dean was slightly easier to deal with than a hungry one. And Sam knew the pie he got would probably go a few ways to lift up his mood too.  
When Dean was almost done Sam took the seat opposite to Dean. Dean didn't even look up to acknowledge him so Sam decided to continue anyway, "Hey, I'm sorry man." That got a reaction out of Dean, atleast he was now looking up at Sam.  
"Yeah, well, me too. I should not have just up and left, okay, I know, but I was just.."   
"Hey, I know." Sam cut him off before Dean could find the words, "I don't want us to fight. We just discovered something good, it is good right?" After seeing Dean give a nod in agreement he continued, "Good, I mean yeah, we'll figure out the rest, together. That's all I'm asking for now."  
"But that's not all you want is it?", At least Sam had the decency to look ashamed at that, "Look. I don't wanna fight either. I'll keep my cool and you keep yours but let's just get this over with. Deal with it like adults, isn't that what you're always telling me to do huh?" Once Sam looked up at him with slightly wide yet curious eyes he continues, "So let's get this over with then."  
~  
"So I heard you in the diner, but tell me this Sam, how or why exactly do you expect for us to leave dad?", Dean looked at Sam with accusing eyes but this was his chance to reason with him, so no matter what he will state his point of view as well.  
"You are going about it all wrong! I don't want us to leave dad. It's just hunting that I have a problem with not dad. I know you follow him blindly,"   
"I…" Dean tried to cut in.  
"No just listen to me. You know its true. There is no point in trying to deny it and dad? Dad is just hell bent on hunting and more often than not it ends up with us being hurt! You are my family Dean and no matter how many disagreements I have with dad, he is my family too. My only family And I love you! More than you'll ever know! How do you want me to deal with the fact that any minute now you can die by the hands of another monster just like mom?" Sam was already starting to tear up but he needed to stay calm and steady, this was important for Dean to understand  
"I do not wanna live my life thinking you'll die before we even get a chance at life. Haven't we suffered enough? I can't lose you, no, I won't lose you too." And Sam couldn't help it any further as his body was wrecked with sobs and he started to tremble all over.  
He didn't realize when Dean had got up from the chair and wrapped him up in his arms hugging him tightly and whispering things like he always did when Sam would have a break down or a panic attack. Just a constant stream of "Shhh, its okay. I'm here, deep breaths…calm down…shhh its all fine.." till Sam was able to bring his breathing back to normal, with his face buried between Dean's neck and shoulder.   
"Are you okay?", Dean asked once Sam started to get his breathing rate back to normal and the tears stopped, giving him a once over to be sure.  
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm fine.", Sam spoke in a croaky voice now.   
"Sam, I get it, I get where you're coming from now. But you are not gonna lose any one of us. Stop worrying about that. It's not like if we give up hunting we won't die? If we had to die we could, any minute disregarding whether we hunt or not." Sam knew Dean was talking with reason but he was still missing the point.  
"Yes! Dean but there is a difference in dying just cause of some accident than intentionally placing yourself in danger everyday! All we do is throw our lives on the line and there is only so many times you can tempt fate before you actually end up..", and even the thought was too horrible for Sam to say aloud, "I want a life with you Dean, a long, happy, normal, apple pie life. What's wrong with that?" and Sam would see comprehension draw on Dean's face. Maybe this talk was going to help them after all.  
~  
Dean was still trying to wrap his head around all of "in love with his brother" thing and here they are now, with a whole new ball game to deal with. Will they ever have moments of peace long enough to even have an apple pie life? It was never what he thought they could have. But said out loud like that, it just all seemed very daunting to him. But these were big life changing decisions and he never liked those. It was always easier to trust someone and follow orders knowing he didn't have to doubt them or be responsible for any mistakes. Its childish, he knows that, but it is what it is.  
"Look, Sam I love you. No matter how wrong it may seem, or if it’s a taboo or not, I dunno. I can't change that and I…don't even want to." Dean knew those words were true with all his heart, and he knew Sam was starting to realize that too, seeing as he took a visible sigh of relief. "But let's take it slow and be a little positive. I can't give up on Dad like this."   
"But Dean.."  
"Sam I know. But I don't just have you to look after. He is my family too, no matter how he may treat us, I still can't give up on my responsibility towards either one of you." Dean guessed that was a reasonable argument, And no matter how much Sam and Dad butted heads, he knew Sam did care for his old man,  
"But you do realize that Dad is wrong! We should't be living like this!", Sam responded agitated.  
"Sure, Dad is, you know, driven. But he is our responsibility. I can't, I won't just give up on him no matter what." Dean argued. "Not yet atleast, okay? Just give us some time, Sam? Please? I promise we'll figure it out."  
Dean could see Sam struggling to accept this new deal here. Underline struggling. But it also seemed that he was hiding something, something he wasn't telling Dean.   
Great more secrets!  
"Sam, is there something you're not telling me?" Dean admonished. Sam made a face and was starting to deny. "You know you can't lie to me dude. I taught you how to lie and know all your tells! So something you wanna tell me? I promise I won't get angry, okay?"   
~  
Sam had kept it to himself for this long was commendable enough. He never could hide much from Dean, sooner or later his older brother caught on. And with all the stuff they've been discussing its been continuously nagging him at the back of his mind, he knew Dean would figure it out.  
Sam took a deap breath trying to calm his nerves down. Guess they were REALLY gonna talk everything out this time. "Okay, look, just promise you won't flip out alright?" On seeing the alarmed expression on Dean's dace, he continued," It's not a bad thing.. It's…actually a good thing." But he knew with his screwed up family good wasn't always good.   
"Okay, so what's the big punchline? Out with it!"   
So here goess nothing! Or maybe….everything.  
"So you remember the college applications you saw the other day at the cabin?" Dean looked confused but he nodded. "So umm, actually, those were not applications. Uh! I mean I did apply. And I got in to pre-law, seeing my grades and stuff. I even got a scholarship. A full ride." Dean didn't react so Sam continued. "And I wanna go. I have already sent in my letter to accept the scholarship. Dean?" Dean still looked kind of stunned. "Are you okay? Say something?"  
"You got a full ride? To…to Stanford?" Dean still looked a little uncomfortable. But slightly better. "Sam that's amazing! Congratulations." Dean was saying the words but he didn't look the part. He got and started pacing the room.  
"So in the end, you do want to leave us huh? Is that it?" Dean's voice sounded small and without hope, all lost. "What? Dean, no! You see, this is what I meant. In any other normal kind of family they would have been happy, and here we are, disappointed that I got into Stanford." Sam felt broken himself.  
"I am happy for you, Sam, really I am." Dean was looking at him with pride and a sad smile, "But I if all you want was to leave me, leave us why even tell me that you love me? Why lead this on? I'm sorry, I know I sound selfish, but I…" and Dean couldn't say more, he didn't need to.  
Sam got up and this time he wrapped his arms around Dean with all the love he can put into it, "That's the thing. I don't wanna go if you won't come with me. I am not leaving you. I…I can't leave without you. It's why I want you to come with me. But I get it, it's wrong for me to make you choose between Dad and me, that was me being the selfish ass." Sam was crying now, "I am not leaving you, now or ever, there's no me without you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good? Bad? Awful? Let me know if you like this fic! I'm sorry I'm slow but I will update it sooner or later, just believe in it.

**Author's Note:**

> Just the first draft of what I hope to be a long love story. Wincest ofcourse. So if I know enough people like it I'll post thhe next part too. please commentand let me know :)


End file.
